SUKH KE SAB SAATHI

These are the few days when you love your work. This is the time when you feel it’s a good choice that you are doing what you are doing. I am talking about me and my writing profession (ref: http://rajatsfunnybone.blogspot.com/2010/09/om-ganeshaye-namah.html , where I had self proclaimed to be a writer). Anyways, enough of me for now. Ah! I know you don’t get to read enough of me and want more and more but kya kare professional hazard you see, I can’t write about me. So where were we? (I was surely in Sathwa Aasman).

RICKY PONTING – R.I.P. (Ricky Immodest Ponting)

When I saw the clips of Ricky today only one thing came to my mind.

To be sung along with following lyrics:

Original lyrics:

MODIFIED LYRICS:

Sukh Ke Sab Saathi Dukh Mein Na Koi

JEET KE SAB SAATHI HAAR MEIN NA KOI

Mere Ram, Mere Ram Tera Naam Ek Saacha Dooja Na Koi

MERE SACHIN, MERE LAKSHMAN TERA NAAM HAI SAACHA DOOJA NA KOI

Jeevan Aani Jaani Chhaaya Jhoothi Maya Jhoothi Kaya

CRICKET AANI JAANI CHHAAYA JHOOTHI CHHAKKA JHOOTHI CHAUKKA

Phir Kahe Ko Saari Umariya Paapki Gathri Dhoi

PHIR KAHE KO SAARI CAREER-IYA 39 CENTURIES KI BOOJH DHOI

Sukh Ke Sab Saathi...

JEET KE SAB SAATHI...

Na Kuchh Tera Na Kuchh Mera Ye Jag Jogi Vaala Phera

NA WARNE TERA NA HAYDEN TERA TAB KAHAN SE TEAM JEETE-RA 

Raja Ho Ya Runk Sabhi Ka Ant Eksa Hoi

MCGRATH HO YA GILLI SABHI KA CAREER ANT EK DIN HOI

Sukh Ke Sab Saathi...

JEET KE SAB SAATHI...

Baahar Ki Tu Maati Phaanke Man Ke Bheetar Kyun Na Jhaanke

TEAM SE TU SLEDGING KARWE UMPIRE KO BHI UNGLI DEEKHAWE

Ujle Tan Par Maan Kiya Aur Man Ki Mail Na Dhoi

WORLD CUP PAR MAAN KIYA AUR 3 ASHES KI HAR AB DHOI
Sukh Ke Sab Saathi...

JEET KE SAB SAATHI...

Finally the Mighty Aussies have fallen and the cricketing world is really celebrating. In one of my earlier Post (http://rajatsfunnybone.blogspot.com/2010/10/aswathama-hato-naro-va-kunjaro.html), I had written about the Aussies fall and why the world loves taking pot shots at them. What is really amazing is that now Australian Media is also R.I.P.-ping Pointing. Ricky has been nothing but arrogant in his entire career. This arrogance has been the artifact of the Australian Team’s success. Though he has contributed to the Australian Team’s Dream run for last decade but it’s mostly been a team effort. Now with the big guns gone and young talent not playing to its potential the tables have surely turned.

People are gunning for his captaincy but I feel he should remain captain and play. I may sound anti-nationalist by saying this but hear me out. He still has best captaincy record, so with a few more loses that will even out. Also with a few more loses, his ego will be “massaged” in the perfect way. Play or no play, Captain or no Captain, I will say that keep on the R.I.P.-ping coz “I AM LOVING IT”

P.S. - I would like to add that like a true Indian supporter I am ecstatic with the Indian Team’s victory but the official word is “SHHHHH” else I will jinx the win and the series. 

30 Die Khan

It’s the 24^th night and the world is partying. What did I do? I went to see Tees Maar Khan so that I could write a blog for you. Its 3 in the night and I am writing the review for you. Please do read it (if you have a life {unlike me}, then I do understand you would have a 1000 things to do in this festive season, so its ok.)

Now let’s talk about TMK. Hmmm and after even more hmmm, I would say that I was slightly disappointed with the movie. This is coming from me who is probably the most tolerant guy when it comes to comedy (I even ventured and saw Bombay to Goa {the one with all the stand up artists} in the cinema hall {yes it is one of my 3 mistakes of my life}). Movie was okay but with Farah Khan, I did expect a lot more. I do remember the comedy in OSO was really top notch.

In today’s time when there is a debate for what audience is the movie made, TMK’s 1^st half exclusively caters to the lower stall or what we call the masses, lot of eestyle, loud costumes, totally random flow of sequence, sudden jump to songs and lots of pelvic and busty thrust. (Yeah! In this movie Farah has invented a new step busty thrust). This half is quite enjoyable and kind of set the tone for the 2^nd half.   

The 2^nd half goes a bit slow. Just when you start to enjoy the life and meanness of the con man, suddenly the director decides to do “daku bana devta” (term inspired by KKKG’s ‘Poo bani parvati’). In all hindi con movies, the hero must have a heart of gold and must have a reason to do what he does. So in order to justify the hero, movie takes a slow turn. But to the credit of Farah Khan, she did not overdo it. Now let’s come to the climax.

The acting of Akshay Kumar and Khanna were really good. Akshay Khanna has never seemed so smooth in a comedy in spite of doing quite a lot of them. Akshay Kumar can do such roles in his sleep now. But he was not the actor who had to put in least effort. Katrina almost played the real self in the movie. She is a HOT bimbo trying to act in the movies. She shows up in the sets only to vanish for ‘make-up’. She delivers a dialogue or two and does a bit of over acting before breaking into a dance sequence.

Oh! If you are wondering why I did not write anything about the climax in the end of the above para, it is because I am yet to decide what, where and when was the climax. The movie ends quite abruptly. During the last half hour (can’t say the climax as I don’t know what was the climax), there was a robbery scene, followed by a court room scene, followed by a movie premier scene. Last scene was about the revenge that was actually built up in these 3 scenes but the revenge scene just ends before it starts. Irony is that it’s a Farah Khan movie and both the direction and editing of this movie is really sad. Movie ends with a song “people like happy ending”. Farah signs off the movie in her signature style of showing all the cast and crew of the movie in yet interesting way.

So the verdict? What? Are you really hoping that I am going to give stars and pronounce a verdict like a film critic?

I am not giving any verdict but I would just leave a food for thought that I firmly believe that the humour in movies which are not made as out and out comedy have better comedy than ones which are made as out and out comedy

Cricketing Bonanza .... cont.

Well, last 10 days was definitely not the start of the Cricketing Bonanza we were looking forward to. For most of us both the results of the last test matches (between Aus Vs Eng and Ind Vs SA) have been disappointing. It was just not the results but the matches itself were so one sided and boring. 

India loosing was almost expected (I am sure die hard optimistic fans would disagree) but such spineless counter attack was very disheartening. Sachin's 50th test ton was only silver lining. Little hopes have risen after the way India batted in 2nd innings. If India can bat this way for rest 4 innings we will surely not loose any more match. Dhoni rightly said, "to win a test match you need to take 20 wickets" and so far I don't see our bowling attack having that potency. Zaheer's return will make an impact or not we will see. Down under, Aussies have also tasted blood with the last win. I hope England can motivate themselves by remembering the 1st 2 matches of the series and erase the last one from memory as a bad dream. Ashes is also hotting up though would have liked to see England sweep the series. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping to see the real cricketing bonanza in the next 2 weeks.  

2. . . . . 0. . . . . 1. . . . . 0

Well the year is coming to an end and now is the time when you do the audit of the year. The 1^st thing that comes to my mind about 2010 is probably the state of affairs of the global economy. 2010 started with a lot of pessimism about the global economy. There was this fear of failure of European Countries and Middle Eastern Countries. In the 2^nd half of the year things started to improve. Although there is this fear of double dip recession but at the year end overall the feeling is good and may be, just may be 2010 will be remembered as the year when things turned around.

Indian economy was also trying to stand tall after the blow in last 2 years. Indian markets have been blossoming for  last 18 months and this year GDP numbers have started to back the bull rally. Indian growth and prosperity have been so huge that this year we have unearthed scam worth lakhs of crores of rupees. (Common Wealth Games and 2G spectrum allocation scam)  When economy rises the scale of corruption must also rise afterall the countries success is measured by its scam size. Today India's tax payers have that much money that we can sponsor such big Ghotalas. Ab yeh sab ke baad chara ghotala, bofors and other ghotalas seems so chindi. Talking of chara ghotala, apne Lalu ji ka bahut yaad aata hai,specially since he has almost disappeared from the limelight. 

Once a reporter asks Lallu ji: "Lallu ji aap kehte the jab tak samose mein aloo tab tak Bihar main hai Lallu. to kya huwa."

Lallu ji replies: "bak burbak... sahi to kheta hoon ... magar aaj kal samosa bhi to chinese banne laga to jab samosa mein hi nahi hoga aloo to bihar mein kaise hoga laloo."

(the above joke is patented by me)

I feel by far this year did belong to the Indian Sports. We had an excellent run at the CWG and Asian games. In Cricket we held on to No 1 test team status (but after SA series don't know for how long). In ODIs also we did good. We almost have the no 1 female Badi champ. In tennis Paes and Bhupatti have tied knot again for 2011 and some bright stars are also shinning. We did exceptionally well in sport and beat Pakistan almost every time but Pakistan took the final honors with winning away our Sania.

I guess more on 2010 later .... for now Chao 

CRICKETING BONANZA

For all the cricket fans the good times are just around the corner (block the dates of 16^th - 26^th Dec, 26^th – 30^th Dec and 2^nd – 6^th Jan). The top 4 of test playing nations will be sweating it out in 2 respective series. The rankings as of date are:

1^st -      India

2^nd -     South Africa

3^rd -      England

4^th -      Australia

The ranking for the season will be sealed at the end of the series. India can be dethroned only if the loose the series 3 – 0 and Australia can claim the 3^rd spot only if they win the Ashes. England is currently leading the Ashes with score line of 1 – 0, but with 3 matches to go anything is still possible.

It will be truly amazing if the English team takes away the Ashes this year. It will mark the emergence of the New English team (who btw had won the T20 world cup too) and highlight the vulnerability of the Mighty Aussies. For the records, the Aussies have lost 4 of last 5 test matches they played with 1 being a draw. From Indian prospective also its better that England wins the series as then the whole race between Pointing Vs Sachin might officially be over with the axing of the Australian skipper.

Now moving on to The Biggest Series of the year, India vs. SA (Star Cricket Channel is showing an ad about how huge the Ashes are but I guess that ad is applicable to this series). A lot is at the stake as we will get to know if the Dhamakedhar Dhoni is actually invincible or not. Many people have asked the question; does Indian team deserve to be no 1 team? Well I guess because of lack of a formidable contender yes we are. South African team have always chocked when it mattered the most. I recall some 2 – 3 years back there were in a position to take the no 1 rank from Australian team with a series win in the home but they lost out then to Australia. This time around SA need to win all 3 games and that is a tall task. All I ask from the Indian team is we win one match and loose the series 2 – 1. May be we are lucky and a miracle happens and we draw the series. Isse jyada ki umeed hi nahi hai. Also to look out for will be Sachin’s 50^th Test century.

Munni Vs Shiela

Hi guys, me is back again! Actually too many things were happening so the writer in me got lost for a while but maine usse khoj hi liya. There are quite a few things that I wish to share. I want to share my amazing vacation to Bali. I want to do movie reviews for the movies I saw in the last one month but I guess moment has passed. Cricket analysis and my “expert opinion” is also due specially since the Indian team is doing well and more importantly the Aussies are doing so pathetically. (There is this sadistic satisfaction whenever you see Australia loose. The feeling was same when Pakis lost but now you never know if they have actually lost or just made money out of it.)

But I am going to speak about a very controversial topic, a very hotly debated topic doing the rounds, who is better Munni or Shiela? I had got a forward which I am sharing with you:

Although the above points are very thoroughly researched and articulately put across but how can you forget that “Munni .... Amiya se Aam hui aur Cinema Hall hui... darling ke liye. A lot of differences have been pointed out but has anyone seen the similarity? The similarity is SALMAN KHAN. Imagine a question being asked to him: “Sallu Bhai aapko kaun jyada hot lagti hai, aapki girl friend ya aapki bhabhi?” (Actually this may be a hot topic in Sallu’s  bedroom)

Attached is the song from where the Munni Song has been inspired. (something I have been promising to share with my friends but never got to do it)

Warning: Contains Vulgar Language.

 source of munni song

F.N. attached is a nice spoof

HAPPY DIWALI

Wishing you all a very Happy Diwali and Verrrrry Prosperous Year

I have not posted anything for long (not that anyone missed me) but I really did not know what to pen down. It’s been very hectic week with parties and festivities with the climax of Diwali. This Diwali I was reflecting how Diwali has changed over the years. During the school days, from the Puja Holidays it self, I would be all geared up for Diwali. I used to so enjoy the washing the rooms (I would be playing Holi with water everyday). I also recall buying the Phat Phat toy pistol and how Dad would ration the rolls between my sister and me. Shopping was a must and Visits to A/C Market (with snacks at Vineet) was like a custom. I was always fond of bursting crackers (would start like from 2 weeks before Diwali) and on Diwali Day itself I would be bursting Chocolate Bombs (bombs were allowed then) from morning.

Now things have so changed from the past. Let alone washing the room, just arranging the cupboard is such a pain. Shopping now has become a monthly event from Annual event (thanks to malls and my constantly increasing waist line). Only passion that has survived over the years is my love for crackers. I still enjoy shopping for crackers and bursting them (choice of crackers have changed though). Now it’s also about the poker/3 patti nights and late night coffee in 5 stars. I guess the point is that over the years Diwali has become very casual (some may disagree but at least for me it is casual {as some friends say I am not Marwari}). But still its the Grandest festival of all. 

P.S. – my best moment this year was when our Pandit ji’s cell phone rang during the Puja and the ring tone – Pappu Cant Dance Sala!

Aswathama hato – naro va kunjaro

When I read in the papers, India clean sweeps the Mighty Aussies, the first thing that came to my mind was “Aswathama Hato”. The sentence discloses and conceals truth at the same time. Media have bashed the Australians and presented as if it was one sided affair. Surely, we won the series (2 test matches and 1 ODI) but I do sympathise with the Australian Team. They fought hard in the 1st test match (they must be thinking that they just few centimetres away from victory {the run out of Ojha}) and in the (only) ODI also they did make the Indian chase difficult in the slog overs of the match. I guess reason for media bashing is because the team is Australia. They have never made friends with any media camps in any part of the world because of their arrogance. Media is choosing this opportunity as unth pahar ke neeche hai.

F.N. – the heartening thing for me was this new attitude of the Indian Team which believes that they can win each and every match (not writing anything more about the series because as it is a lot is written about cricket in India).

PEP SSSS SSSS !!

click here for Ranbir in Virgin Mobile

click here for Ranbir in Pepsi Ad

That’s the fizz going out of the ad campaign of Pepsi. The latest ad of Pepsi looks so Thakela. The ad has no creativity; in fact the idea of the Ad has been borrowed from another commercial of Ranbir Kapoor himself. How many more gay jokes can we tolerate? (Karan, please come with Dostana 2 fast else everyone would exhaust all the gay jokes)

Youngistan Campaign has been quite disappointing. First the game master ad (with Sanjay Dutt) and now this ad. Pepsi team laid off all their stalwarts from likes of the Shahrukhs to the Sachins in the name of Youngistan (personally I think it was a good excuse to cut the salary cheques in the times of depression). Now I feel they have cut off the pay of their creative team too. (May be my wify can throw some light on the matter)

MA . . . !! Rokha Koro

Nauvami is the last day of Durga Puja. On this day Ma Durga prepares for her departure after having triumphed the Good over Evil. The mood among devotees is sad. Just when all seems gloomy, Ma Durga gives us a parting gift, RAKHI KA INSAAF, a new ray of hope for the mankind, which will help protect the truth and deliver justice. (Ma Durga please Please PLEASE forgive me for writing the show as Your Gift)

Indian Television has hit an all time low as it decided to copy Jerry Springer Show  (which prides itself by being nominated as “the worst show on TV”). The show picks out people, from the lowest strata of the society, having IQ of not more than 60, who are loud and full of drama, having issues related to adultery, divorce, infidelity, inheritance etc and most importantly who are ready to reveal ALL on TV. The show has been a huge success and has been running for several years in USA, despite huge criticism. 

I had mentioned that Big Boss satisfies fetish of voyeurism but this show takes this fetish one step further. Not only you enjoy the voyeurism of family secrets of others but also as moral police you get a chance to condemn them. (If you are in studio and lucky enough then you can even slap them or hit them {mar sale ko @$%&}) I am sure Pramod Muthalik would be lending all members of his Sri Ram Sena to this show.

The show could not have had a better host, Rakhi Sawant, the real Ma of melodrama queen (I really burst into laughter when Rakhi said to her guests, “tum to badi hi melodrama queen ho”). The idea is simple if the guests are not providing the melodrama then the host will. I guess the reason Rakhi said yes to this show was to provide budding melodrama queens a launch pad (something that was not available during her “struggling days”). Also via this show she plans to leave behind her prodigies.

  

Only time will tell if Indian TV is ready for a Jerry Springer Show spin-off but till then enjoy the spice. A small note to people who plan to see this show, have you ever asked your chauffeur or your housemaid or your sweeper what are their problems?

F.N

@ Big Boss – With introduction of Khali in the BB, the show can now give some fight to KBC. Khali has huge fan following specially among children.

@ Master Chef India – its remarkable how the producers of the show add so much of emotions to cookery show. 

@ KBC – it seems they are focusing a lot on contestants rather than the game, again thanks to the Indian demand of Emotions and melodrama  

Dulhan vida ho gayi

So finally the Monsoon Wedding is over. It was quite surprising to see that the rest of the event went through without any major embarrassment. Though there was this one interesting piece of news that did tickle even my funny bone; Condoms clog the CWG village drainage system (Wtf! why did my parents not push me enough to be an athlete). But jokes aside, the event was a huge success. In fact people have already started dreaming that one day in the near future we would be hosting the Olympics. (Kalmadi must be already doing the calculation that if in CWG he made millions then in Olympics he should be able to make billions)

Heart filled kudos to the real star of the game, the Indian Athletes. It was also very heartening to see that so many athletes coming from B-towns and villages. They have made a lasting impression in the minds of Millions of Indians (May be just thousands of Indians who followed the CWG). So many records were broken and India finished on all time high on 2^nd. The final medal count stood at 38 – 27 – 36 (which looks like the figure of an overweight woman). It probably signifies that though we have made a mark in the Athletes world but still we need to work hard and be in shape to fight many future battles.

BADE BHAIYA !!!

For last month or so there has been a lot of hullabaloo about the face off between KBC and Big Boss. KBC tickles your IQ (if you have one that is) and is a rags to riches story on TV (with slight dose of the desi melodrama {main paise jeetonga to apni maa ka ilaaz… /bhai ki padhai … / behen ki shaadi … etc}) while BB appeals to the fetish of voyeurism (whatever is permissible in Indian TV) in every man. One is hosted by Sallu bhai (flavour of the season) and other is hosted by Bachchan ji (evergreen). Both shows could have co-existed with harmony but they decided to take each other head on.

With the telecast of the 1^st episode of KBC, it very clear who is the real Big Boss. It has been the most successful reality show in Indian Television history. It did not just reinvent AB (from where his ‘2^nd innings’ took off) but also paved way for a number of reality shows. The formula was simple, CCP (what we MBAs do a lot), CUT COPY PASTE. Take any successful reality show and copy the format in desi istyle. Indian Idol, Big Boss itself, India Got Talent, Master Chef etc all are lineage of this mega show. I guess the only original reality shows that India has ever produced are Rakhi ka Swayambar and now Rakhi ka insaaf (Puneet, I hope you do see this one too as you are her No. 1 fan. {Actually, no other country can have these shows as no other country has Rakhi [even though these shows are also rip offs]}) 

Coming back to the face off between BB and KBC, the result was out last week itself when Sallu bhai introduced the contestants. I guess in race to compete with KBC, they completely overlooked the participants. The house breeds Dacoit, Thief, Lawyer, Actors, Models, Losers, Controversial figures and even foreigners. Following are the contestants (and possible reasons why they have joined):

Sweta Tiwari: if Raja can do it so can she

Manoj Tiwari: if Sweta can do it so can he

Seema Prihar: to play the role of all rounder – Dacoit, Actor, Politician all in one (many don’t know she acted in the movie based on herself and is now an active politician)

Abbas Azmi: to look for prospective clients in the house

Rahul Bhatt: to escape from FBI

Veena Mallik and Begum Ali: to promote aman ki asha

Ashmit Patel and Sakhshi Pradhan: they have already proven their credentials in satisfying the thirst of voyeurism via respective MMS

Sameer Soni, Sara Khan, Anchaal Kumar and Hrishant Goswami: uhh …. Uhh!! I wish at least they know why they are there.

Only other place where such heads are bundled together under one roof is our respected Parliament (ironically there also all people do is fight). So if someone is looking for masala, I guess they will turn to channels like Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha (which are now shown live) rather than tune to BB.

F.N.-- BTW from this weekend Akshay will be "serving" his show and Rakhi bhi insaaf karegi at 9 p.m. 

Dimaag ki Khichri

After watching Khichri the movie today, I have just one formal appeal to MTA (Mumbai Tapori Association) to rename their famous catchphrase dimaag ka dahi to Dimaag ki Khichri in honour of this movie. I went into the movie with very mixed reviews and did not know what to expect. I was quite blown away with the comedy as it was far above the expectation. With khichri comes a new genre of clean but sick comedy to Bollywood. I have always felt the serious deficit of good humour on Indian screen (TV or big screen).

Govinda single handedly carried comedy on his shoulders (may be his pelvic) during the 90s and created a niche for himself. David Dhawan and Govinda was a pair to watch out for! (May be still is) Govinda handed the torch to Khilari Akhsay who also did carve out some excellent stuff before he became monotonous. After that came a new genre of comedy – “dimmag ghar mein rakh kar aao” comedy. There were a flurry of comedy movies that hit the screens but only a few created a lasting mark. Their trade mark was loud/slapstick humour, where the plot revolved around mistaken identity leading to situational chaos. Funnily enough most of movies where comedy was not the central theme had better comedy than the so called comedy movies. For me a good comedy is one which has a repeat value and I therefore rate the 70s era of Hrisikesh Mukherjee the best. But there is a silver lining as there is definitely a paradigm shift in the current movies. May be going forward we will see people making comedy on the territories they have not explored enough like intelligent comedy, adult (not cheap) humour or even Spoof.

In the world of Idiot box (in India it deserves to be called that) whatever little progress was made has been retracted. The prime time is full of the Saas and their Bahus and their never ending fights with fulltu melodrama and top it all their reactions, their Reactions, their REACTIONS (had to put in 3 times). I have never met a single soul who watches these serials and not say, “dhat! aisa  kabhi hota hai kya ? kya bakwaas dikha raha hai” and next day go back and see the same stuff all over again. (I wish I could get some tips from those producers to build a reader base who would say, “dhat! kya bakwaas blog likhta hai” but come back to read my blog again.)

Why was Priyanka trying to commit suicide?

I watched 2 movies today back to back – Anjaana Anjaani and Robot. In the 1^st movie I could not understand why Priyanka was trying to commit Suicide, amongst a lot of things. Actors/Directors always say my movie is Hatke, but there were only 2 things I found that was hatke.  The heroine bachofies izzat of the Hero. Hero saying, “I am Virgin.” (Now as I am writing this I guess the Hero was really sissy). Weak script, Weird story, Useless melodrama and Bad direction made it a nothing movie (Can’t even say a usual Bollywood Movie because Dabaang showed Usual Bollywood Movie does work)

Coming to Robot, I did enjoy it. (May be because after a horrid movie like above, any movie would seem nice.) There were some real hatke moments in the movie.

1)      They really tried to build a story in Rajni movie

2)      Love triangle Man-Woman-Robot

3)      The special effects were really good for an Indian Movie. (Best part was when they added water in desert for a song just to prove that they can.)

4)      Lyrics were so hatke that our Dear P K Mishra would also be proud.

5)      And the shocker: Rajnikanth, the human one, actually runs away to avoid a fight.

1st half could have been shorter and lesser song. But what the Heck! Why should I even bother writing because there are 2 types of people who watch Rajnikanth’s movie.

1)      Who go to see Rajnikanth

2)      Who go to see what the above people go to see

Lots of Rajnikanth’s jokes, videos, SMS etc are doing the round but I will end with one I heard recently. A woman was very upset that she had lost her virginity; so Rajnikanth got it back for her. (May be he has the answer, “Why was Priyanka trying to commit suicide?”)

Let the games Begin.....

With just hours to go before the Grand Sporting, I am all excited. I am sure it will be a huge event with India emerging out as Victorious, not without opposition tough. Indiaaa !! Indiaaa !! Can’t wait to see how Indians will bat against the Aussies. I hope not even for a nano second you were not thinking I was talking about CWG. You see India – Australia test series is strategically placed during CWG. Officials in Delhi will say that in October:

1) Indians were only following Sports. (So what if its cricket and not CWG).

2) Indians were watching only Sports Channel. (So what its Neo Sports and not DD Sports)

3) We had a lot of foreign tourist coming in for sporting events. (So what they were for cricket)

A news report said from a initial estimate of 2,00,000 tourists during CWG, Government revised it to 1,00,000 but tour operators expect real number would be just 10,000. (Irony is that Travel agencies are designing "Commonwealth Escape Packages" for Delhites. They are making more money by sending people out rather than bringing people in during CWG. Wah re India!!!). Another Interesting fact, during an event like IPL, Bollywood chooses not release any movies but between October 1 – 15 as many as 13 movies are being released.

Coming back to Cricket, I guess India will hold on to its No. 1 Rank. India’s batting has been doing well and with Aussies, likes of Sachin, Shewag and VVS have always produced something special. Indian bowling is weak but Zaheer’s return and Ishant’s X factor could be a boost. With Harbajan missing, choice of spinners could be a headache for Dhoni. On the other hand, Aussies will have to play out of their skin to win this series as they have a fragile batting line up and not so penetrating bowling force. However, it should be a gripping series (only 2 test tough) and India will have to fight well to win it.

P.S. – Guys who are planning to watch CWG on DD sports just be prepared for bad reception, as people who would be telecasting the games would be busy watching the cricket.

Disclaimer - the above picture is just to authenticate my claim of "Commonwealth Escape Package". I do not get any money from the Company so don't endorse it.

Monsoon Wedding (Continued)

Today I am bringing you a connection between Our Monsoon Wedding and a Mythological Wedding.

During my childhood, I had heard a mythological story from my Grandma. Once in the Heavens, there was a Grand Marriage of Vishnu ji and Lakshmi ji. Vishnu ji had invited all the Gods and Deities but He left out Lord Ganesh. Hurt by this act, Ganjesh ji sent his army of Rats and they kuttrufied the road from beneath. So when the barat was marching on the Road, it DHASOFIED. Vishnu ji realized his mistake and immediately called upon Ganesh ji. He said “Without Ganesh no ceremony or Puja will ever begin.” 

Now cut to Our Monsoon Wedding. Roads in Delhi are falling apart, Sahi mein Dhas ja rahe hai. I could not understand how or why on earth, now the roads are falling apart as this is something we rarely see (corruption, red tapism etc are our way of life). May be just may be it is do with the lack of consideration for the Shaadi ke nimantran patr, CWG Mascot – Shera (Agar CWG ek shaadi hai, to mascot us shaadi ka nimantran patr hai. {Lord Ganesha is now upset}). There are 2 types of Sheras doing the rounds and being publicized all over. (Abdulla {Media} pointed this out). In fact one Shera almost looks like the twin brother of Hobbes. This is quite explainable as this all CWG is nothing but WISHFUL THINKING.

F.N - In 1982 Asian games, our Mascot was Appu (Elephant - symbol of Ganesh).    

Explanations to some queries:
Abdulla is media (ref to my earlier blog Begani ki shaadi mein Abdulla dewana)
Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes. 

MONSOON WEDDING

I got a few requests to write about CWG. (YA! people are already asking me to write about a topic) I was wondering what I should write about it that’s not been already spoken. I have also posted 2ice on FB:

BRAVO KALMADI SIR!! No one realises that you are a true genius!! He has single handedly made sure no other country participates in CWG, making sure that INDIA gets all the medals!!

Latest CWG BREAKING NEWS -- "100 stray Dogs driven out of Games village” (but Kalmadi allowed to stay on)

Then today when I was in my inspirational room (the loo {place where many great people have found wisdom}), I suddenly was enlightened. Today I deciphered the CODE (I almost felt like Robert Langdon of Da Vinci Code) that SRI SRI SRI SRI MS GILL had prophesized by comparing the CWG to Monsoon Wedding.

The CWG is going exactly like our weddings in India. Let me explain:

CWG is the marriage party. Kalmadi is the Dalal who has bought the rista.

Dulhan is our Indian Athletes and Dulha is the Foreign Athletes.

Unfortunately, Dulhan anaath hai (which is so true, our sports are the neglected child of the country and it also true bin baap ki beti ki shaadi mein kitna problem hota hai)

Yahan dulhan anaath hai yahan dulhe ke kai baap hai. (Which happens in foreign, Mike Hooper, Mike Fennell etc etc)

Shaadi gaon (India) ki izzat ka sawal hai, so is financed by the gaon wale (Indian Tax payers money) via the khazanchi Pranab babuji.

Anaath dulhan ki shaadi ki jimmevari was given to Dalal uncle Kalmadi, Sauteli chachi Sheila Dixit, Door ke Mamaji Lalit Bhanot amongst others. (Dalal ko jimmevari do ge to woh to paisa banayega na ? {Ref- to earlier corruption charges})
Where is MS Gill? He is the holy pandit jo ki mantra padhega.

So now aage ki story:

Ab hota hai Begane ke shaadi mein abdulla dewana. (This is media which is flaring up any and every story {can be good or bad, don’t know})

Ek din Gaon mein hulchul sun kar, the last hour mein Sarpanch, Dr Manmohan Singh wakes up from hibernation and phatkaos the dalals, the chachis, the mamajis.

The mandap is being fixed till last second and a bamboo falls. (Ref- foot bridge collapse)

Mandap ka news dekh kar the dulha ke anek baap, Shaadi se pehle rooth jate hain aur rista cancel karne ki baat karte hain. Sarpanch ji unse milte hai. (behind closed doors sarpanch ji pagri ladke ke baap ke charno mein rakh kar izzat bachate hain aur  dahej ki rakam badhane ki baat karte hain)

Dulha ke anek baap ek bar ke liye maan jate hain. Lekin kuch barati naraz rehte hain.

Phir drame mein twist, barati ke ristedaron ko ego problem hone lagti hai. Unke door ke ristedar, African countries (jo ki khud bhookhe nange hain, unke bhi par nikal atte  hain) start cribbing about conditions.     

You think it’s over? Drama abhi baki hai, ek din dulhan, Sania Nehwal, bolti hai ki shaadi nahi karni but turant usse daanta jata hai aur woh haan kar deti hain( Ref Sania said CWG will be disaster and soon retracted)

In sab drame ke beech Dulhan ka bhai ko gussa ata hai aur woh bistar se gir jata hai ( Akhil kumar)

Indra log se Syayam Nag devta Shadi mein upasthit hote hain magar Videsi barati ko samajh nahi atta aur woh halla karte hain.

Itna masala hota hai lekin .... Picture abhi baki hai mere dost. I will update you on events of the marriage as and when it happens. Let me conclude with a famous Sher.

Ibtada-E- SHADDI hai rota hai kya,

Aage aage dekhiye hota hai kya

Peace
Rajat

KINGS Vs WARRIORS

Champions League T-20 (I know many of you must be wondering is it still on? Honestly I have also followed a few matches only and also in my FB no one ever tweets about it so I guess not many have followed it regularly) comes to close, it’s a face off between the Kings and the Warriors. South Australia had been in top form through out the league stages but in the semis they cracked like a castle of sand. It was quite ironical that South African Team made it to the Final (at least they do not draw inspiration from National Team who are classified the Official Chokers of International Cricket)

The group match between CSK and Warrior was very gripping and if that is something to go by the final should be a spectacular one. Who will win? Its like the PEPSI LAYS ad (ya, ya, I am promoting my wify’s Company {that too w/o incentive}) Dil kehta hai Kings will win and Dimag Kehta hai Warriors will win. I guess its time to be Dillogical !!

I would write more about Champion League but since only few people are following the League, I wonder how many of you will be interested in reading about it. At this stage, I can’t afford a fall in my TRP (The Readers with Patience).

Peace

Rajat

WEEKEND DILEMMA

As I sit and think what to do this weekend I am already running short of ideas. The single most grand weekend event of our Beloved City of Rosogullas, has failed me - Movies. I have already seen –

Wall Street 2 (which I found had too many plots and sub plots and could do with some editing. Movie was solely being carried only on the shoulders of the performances of its actors specially the master, Gordon Gekko. Its definitely worth a watch)

May be I repeat Dabaang (posting my review from FB --- Bang Bang all the way!!! typical bollywood masala movie has all the necessary masala ingredients!!! Action ka tashan {copied from a few English movies but executed in desi istyle}, Sallu bhai ka nautanki {like never before}, Childhood to grown up story {have not seen that for so long}, Ma ka ashirwad {Aisa Ashirwad ki Shewag ki Ma also could not provide}, Baap ka Gussa {with cliché like ‘mera beta mere liye mar gaya’}, Ma ki Maut ka badla {without the cliché ‘ Ma jab tak teri maut ka badla nahi leta, main ek ghoot pani…’}, Heroine ka Latka Jhatka {Sonakshi Sinha has done a good job}, Desi dialogues ka tarka {‘haramjade se yaad aya, pandeyji aapke pujniye pitaji kaise hai’ kaihn aur suna hai aisa dialogue huh?}, Indian Politics ka angle {UP Politics ka sach}, and Cherry on the top Munni ki Badnami {aisi badnaami jaisi kabhi huwi hi nahi}. The only thing missing from the formula was the “the famous Hindi Movie Rape Scene”

Last option is “Cop out” but IMDB has given it rating of 5.7 and other reviews are also not very encouraging. So might skip that. I guess I will plan out what movie to watch next week and in what order, which can be bigger Dilemma. Next week has 3 must match Releases:

Anjana Anjani became anajana to the cinema halls this week because of Avodhya verdict. The verdict also got postponed thanks to another anjana, Mr Tripathi. If the verdict is further postponed to Friday, what will the producers do? I guess they will release the movie else pirated version will be out by then. The trailors look good and bollywood is waiting for a good love story after disasters like I hate Luv stories and Aisha. Hope Siddarth Anand delivers a fresh story. Will I see this movie on Friday or …..

Robot is a movie I am dying to watch. Rajni uncle, sorry really very sorry to all the hardcore Rajni fans that I called the legend Uncle. Rajni dada, Ok ! Ok !! I take that back too, he is not old to be dada. Rajni BETA ka film hai. (I guess in reel life the curious case of Benjamin Button applies to this guy and this guy only.) This movie is going to make all other fantasy movies look like an Amoebae in front of Goliath. He can fire bullet from finger or run diagonally on a running train or what ever he feels like coz he has the license to do all non-sense, as he is a robot. Have you guys heard the songs?

Kilimanjaro ladki parvat thi yaaro Isska roop nihaaro yaaro yaaro
Mohenjo daro issko dil mein utaaro Jungle jungle pukaro yaaro yaaro

It’s just the mukhra. Please do listen to this song. AR Rehman a music ka M.B.A. kaise kiya jata hai you will know.

Last movie is Khichadi. It is probably movie with least expectation. This one is like you get exactly what you expect. Hansa and Prafull should tickle your senses and produce a smile. I will reserve this movie for may be weekday slot.

Good that I have started this blog so I have some thing to do, but what about you? You are reading this blog, really? Nothing else to do? I guess you all are facing the same Weekend Dilemma.

Peace

Rajat

om ganeshaye namah

OM GANESHAYE NAMAH

Today with this blog I am trying to give birth to a new me, the Writer me. I have always had this longing to scribble something but never could put pen to paper or (as in today’s world finger to keyboard). I know I have a Creative mind and Observant eyes and Rational and Logical thinking and Good Senses (itna jyada hai ki plural ho gaya) of humour but dint know if I have the power to pen down all the above and express it via a medium that can appeal to (at least) some people. After many thoughts and after thoughts I decided to go for it. Kyonki Fighter hamesha jeet ta hai – see I am taking inspiration also from Javed Uncle (I guess I should start calling him that after all WE writers {yes I have already acclaimed myself as a writer [Wondering how bracket ke ander bracket aa gaya … well Inception Movie mein dream ke  dream ke ander dream aa sakta hai to mere blog mein curve bracket ke ander curly bracket aur us curly brakect ke ander box bracket kyon nahi] [algebra mein sikha huwa bracket kabhi to kaam aaya ]}  have a special bonding) who has delivered this thought for a PEN AD. How pious can the start be?

If you are lost reading the above sentence I don’t blame you, I got lost trying to correct it after writing it so I thought let it be.

But now coming to the main point this blog is going to be all this and more. I have not yet drafted the shape of it and like my thinking I would love it to be abstract. If anyone of you still wake after the whole crap please post some encouraging words (after all inspiration ke liye bar bar Javed uncle ko tang karna acha nahi lagta)

Peace

Rajat