Thursday, September 30, 2010

Let the games Begin.....


With just hours to go before the Grand Sporting, I am all excited. I am sure it will be a huge event with India emerging out as Victorious, not without opposition tough. Indiaaa !! Indiaaa !! Can’t wait to see how Indians will bat against the Aussies. I hope not even for a nano second you were not thinking I was talking about CWG. You see India – Australia test series is strategically placed during CWG. Officials in Delhi will say that in October:
1) Indians were only following Sports. (So what if its cricket and not CWG).
2) Indians were watching only Sports Channel. (So what its Neo Sports and not DD Sports)
3) We had a lot of foreign tourist coming in for sporting events. (So what they were for cricket)

A news report said from a initial estimate of 2,00,000 tourists during CWG, Government revised it to 1,00,000 but tour operators expect real number would be just 10,000. (Irony is that Travel agencies are designing "Commonwealth Escape Packages" for Delhites. They are making more money by sending people out rather than bringing people in during CWG. Wah re India!!!). Another Interesting fact, during an event like IPL, Bollywood chooses not release any movies but between October 1 – 15 as many as 13 movies are being released.

Coming back to Cricket, I guess India will hold on to its No. 1 Rank. India’s batting has been doing well and with Aussies, likes of Sachin, Shewag and VVS have always produced something special. Indian bowling is weak but Zaheer’s return and Ishant’s X factor could be a boost. With Harbajan missing, choice of spinners could be a headache for Dhoni. On the other hand, Aussies will have to play out of their skin to win this series as they have a fragile batting line up and not so penetrating bowling force. However, it should be a gripping series (only 2 test tough) and India will have to fight well to win it.

P.S. – Guys who are planning to watch CWG on DD sports just be prepared for bad reception, as people who would be telecasting the games would be busy watching the cricket.


Disclaimer - the above picture is just to authenticate my claim of "Commonwealth Escape Package". I do not get any money from the Company so don't endorse it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Monsoon Wedding (Continued)


Today I am bringing you a connection between Our Monsoon Wedding and a Mythological Wedding.

During my childhood, I had heard a mythological story from my Grandma. Once in the Heavens, there was a Grand Marriage of Vishnu ji and Lakshmi ji. Vishnu ji had invited all the Gods and Deities but He left out Lord Ganesh. Hurt by this act, Ganjesh ji sent his army of Rats and they kuttrufied the road from beneath. So when the barat was marching on the Road, it DHASOFIED. Vishnu ji realized his mistake and immediately called upon Ganesh ji. He said “Without Ganesh no ceremony or Puja will ever begin.” 

Now cut to Our Monsoon Wedding. Roads in Delhi are falling apart, Sahi mein Dhas ja rahe hai. I could not understand how or why on earth, now the roads are falling apart as this is something we rarely see (corruption, red tapism etc are our way of life). May be just may be it is do with the lack of consideration for the Shaadi ke nimantran patr, CWG Mascot – Shera (Agar CWG ek shaadi hai, to mascot us shaadi ka nimantran patr hai. {Lord Ganesha is now upset}). There are 2 types of Sheras doing the rounds and being publicized all over. (Abdulla {Media} pointed this out). In fact one Shera almost looks like the twin brother of Hobbes. This is quite explainable as this all CWG is nothing but WISHFUL THINKING.

F.N - In 1982 Asian games, our Mascot was Appu (Elephant - symbol of Ganesh).    



Explanations to some queries:
Abdulla is media (ref to my earlier blog Begani ki shaadi mein Abdulla dewana)
Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes. 

Sunday, September 26, 2010

MONSOON WEDDING



I got a few requests to write about CWG. (YA! people are already asking me to write about a topic) I was wondering what I should write about it that’s not been already spoken. I have also posted 2ice on FB:

BRAVO KALMADI SIR!! No one realises that you are a true genius!! He has single handedly made sure no other country participates in CWG, making sure that INDIA gets all the medals!!
Latest CWG BREAKING NEWS -- "100 stray Dogs driven out of Games village” (but Kalmadi allowed to stay on)

Then today when I was in my inspirational room (the loo {place where many great people have found wisdom}), I suddenly was enlightened. Today I deciphered the CODE (I almost felt like Robert Langdon of Da Vinci Code) that SRI SRI SRI SRI MS GILL had prophesized by comparing the CWG to Monsoon Wedding.

The CWG is going exactly like our weddings in India. Let me explain:
CWG is the marriage party. Kalmadi is the Dalal who has bought the rista.
Dulhan is our Indian Athletes and Dulha is the Foreign Athletes.
Unfortunately, Dulhan anaath hai (which is so true, our sports are the neglected child of the country and it also true bin baap ki beti ki shaadi mein kitna problem hota hai)
Yahan dulhan anaath hai yahan dulhe ke kai baap hai. (Which happens in foreign, Mike Hooper, Mike Fennell etc etc)
Shaadi gaon (India) ki izzat ka sawal hai, so is financed by the gaon wale (Indian Tax payers money) via the khazanchi Pranab babuji.
Anaath dulhan ki shaadi ki jimmevari was given to Dalal uncle Kalmadi, Sauteli chachi Sheila Dixit, Door ke Mamaji Lalit Bhanot amongst others. (Dalal ko jimmevari do ge to woh to paisa banayega na ? {Ref- to earlier corruption charges})
Where is MS Gill? He is the holy pandit jo ki mantra padhega.
So now aage ki story:
Ab hota hai Begane ke shaadi mein abdulla dewana. (This is media which is flaring up any and every story {can be good or bad, don’t know})
Ek din Gaon mein hulchul sun kar, the last hour mein Sarpanch, Dr Manmohan Singh wakes up from hibernation and phatkaos the dalals, the chachis, the mamajis.
The mandap is being fixed till last second and a bamboo falls. (Ref- foot bridge collapse)
Mandap ka news dekh kar the dulha ke anek baap, Shaadi se pehle rooth jate hain aur rista cancel karne ki baat karte hain. Sarpanch ji unse milte hai. (behind closed doors sarpanch ji pagri ladke ke baap ke charno mein rakh kar izzat bachate hain aur  dahej ki rakam badhane ki baat karte hain)
Dulha ke anek baap ek bar ke liye maan jate hain. Lekin kuch barati naraz rehte hain.
Phir drame mein twist, barati ke ristedaron ko ego problem hone lagti hai. Unke door ke ristedar, African countries (jo ki khud bhookhe nange hain, unke bhi par nikal atte  hain) start cribbing about conditions.     
You think it’s over? Drama abhi baki hai, ek din dulhan, Sania Nehwal, bolti hai ki shaadi nahi karni but turant usse daanta jata hai aur woh haan kar deti hain( Ref Sania said CWG will be disaster and soon retracted)
In sab drame ke beech Dulhan ka bhai ko gussa ata hai aur woh bistar se gir jata hai ( Akhil kumar)
Indra log se Syayam Nag devta Shadi mein upasthit hote hain magar Videsi barati ko samajh nahi atta aur woh halla karte hain.
Itna masala hota hai lekin .... Picture abhi baki hai mere dost. I will update you on events of the marriage as and when it happens. Let me conclude with a famous Sher.

Ibtada-E- SHADDI hai rota hai kya,
Aage aage dekhiye hota hai kya
Peace
Rajat

KINGS Vs WARRIORS


Champions League T-20 (I know many of you must be wondering is it still on? Honestly I have also followed a few matches only and also in my FB no one ever tweets about it so I guess not many have followed it regularly) comes to close, it’s a face off between the Kings and the Warriors. South Australia had been in top form through out the league stages but in the semis they cracked like a castle of sand. It was quite ironical that South African Team made it to the Final (at least they do not draw inspiration from National Team who are classified the Official Chokers of International Cricket)
The group match between CSK and Warrior was very gripping and if that is something to go by the final should be a spectacular one. Who will win? Its like the PEPSI LAYS ad (ya, ya, I am promoting my wify’s Company {that too w/o incentive}) Dil kehta hai Kings will win and Dimag Kehta hai Warriors will win. I guess its time to be Dillogical !!
I would write more about Champion League but since only few people are following the League, I wonder how many of you will be interested in reading about it. At this stage, I can’t afford a fall in my TRP (The Readers with Patience).

Peace
Rajat

Saturday, September 25, 2010

WEEKEND DILEMMA



As I sit and think what to do this weekend I am already running short of ideas. The single most grand weekend event of our Beloved City of Rosogullas, has failed me - Movies. I have already seen –

Wall Street 2 (which I found had too many plots and sub plots and could do with some editing. Movie was solely being carried only on the shoulders of the performances of its actors specially the master, Gordon Gekko. Its definitely worth a watch)

May be I repeat Dabaang (posting my review from FB --- Bang Bang all the way!!! typical bollywood masala movie has all the necessary masala ingredients!!! Action ka tashan {copied from a few English movies but executed in desi istyle}, Sallu bhai ka nautanki {like never before}, Childhood to grown up story {have not seen that for so long}, Ma ka ashirwad {Aisa Ashirwad ki Shewag ki Ma also could not provide}, Baap ka Gussa {with cliché like ‘mera beta mere liye mar gaya’}, Ma ki Maut ka badla {without the cliché ‘ Ma jab tak teri maut ka badla nahi leta, main ek ghoot pani…’}, Heroine ka Latka Jhatka {Sonakshi Sinha has done a good job}, Desi dialogues ka tarka {‘haramjade se yaad aya, pandeyji aapke pujniye pitaji kaise hai’ kaihn aur suna hai aisa dialogue huh?}, Indian Politics ka angle {UP Politics ka sach}, and Cherry on the top Munni ki Badnami {aisi badnaami jaisi kabhi huwi hi nahi}. The only thing missing from the formula was the “the famous Hindi Movie Rape Scene”

Last option is “Cop out” but IMDB has given it rating of 5.7 and other reviews are also not very encouraging. So might skip that. I guess I will plan out what movie to watch next week and in what order, which can be bigger Dilemma. Next week has 3 must match Releases:

Anjana Anjani became anajana to the cinema halls this week because of Avodhya verdict. The verdict also got postponed thanks to another anjana, Mr Tripathi. If the verdict is further postponed to Friday, what will the producers do? I guess they will release the movie else pirated version will be out by then. The trailors look good and bollywood is waiting for a good love story after disasters like I hate Luv stories and Aisha. Hope Siddarth Anand delivers a fresh story. Will I see this movie on Friday or …..

Robot is a movie I am dying to watch. Rajni uncle, sorry really very sorry to all the hardcore Rajni fans that I called the legend Uncle. Rajni dada, Ok ! Ok !! I take that back too, he is not old to be dada. Rajni BETA ka film hai. (I guess in reel life the curious case of Benjamin Button applies to this guy and this guy only.) This movie is going to make all other fantasy movies look like an Amoebae in front of Goliath. He can fire bullet from finger or run diagonally on a running train or what ever he feels like coz he has the license to do all non-sense, as he is a robot. Have you guys heard the songs?

Kilimanjaro ladki parvat thi yaaro Isska roop nihaaro yaaro yaaro
Mohenjo daro issko dil mein utaaro Jungle jungle pukaro yaaro yaaro

It’s just the mukhra. Please do listen to this song. AR Rehman a music ka M.B.A. kaise kiya jata hai you will know.

Last movie is Khichadi. It is probably movie with least expectation. This one is like you get exactly what you expect. Hansa and Prafull should tickle your senses and produce a smile. I will reserve this movie for may be weekday slot.

Good that I have started this blog so I have some thing to do, but what about you? You are reading this blog, really? Nothing else to do? I guess you all are facing the same Weekend Dilemma.

Peace
Rajat

Friday, September 24, 2010

om ganeshaye namah




Today with this blog I am trying to give birth to a new me, the Writer me. I have always had this longing to scribble something but never could put pen to paper or (as in today’s world finger to keyboard). I know I have a Creative mind and Observant eyes and Rational and Logical thinking and Good Senses (itna jyada hai ki plural ho gaya) of humour but dint know if I have the power to pen down all the above and express it via a medium that can appeal to (at least) some people. After many thoughts and after thoughts I decided to go for it. Kyonki Fighter hamesha jeet ta hai – see I am taking inspiration also from Javed Uncle (I guess I should start calling him that after all WE writers {yes I have already acclaimed myself as a writer [Wondering how bracket ke ander bracket aa gaya … well Inception Movie mein dream ke  dream ke ander dream aa sakta hai to mere blog mein curve bracket ke ander curly bracket aur us curly brakect ke ander box bracket kyon nahi] [algebra mein sikha huwa bracket kabhi to kaam aaya ]}  have a special bonding) who has delivered this thought for a PEN AD. How pious can the start be?

If you are lost reading the above sentence I don’t blame you, I got lost trying to correct it after writing it so I thought let it be.

But now coming to the main point this blog is going to be all this and more. I have not yet drafted the shape of it and like my thinking I would love it to be abstract. If anyone of you still wake after the whole crap please post some encouraging words (after all inspiration ke liye bar bar Javed uncle ko tang karna acha nahi lagta)

Peace
Rajat